I have started and deleted this post more times than I can count because I do not want it to come off as ungrateful or insensitive in the least bit. I know so many women that have struggled to get pregnant or stay pregnant. Know that I do not take my being able to get pregnant, carry a baby to term, and love on my precious little ones for granted. I know that I am fortunate to have had three successful (to this point) pregnancies. With that said, if you’ve known me for any extended period of time, you know that I wear my emotions and my thoughts on my sleeve. Just like it says in my bio on this blog, “I am transparent to a fault.” So, even though I know how fortunate I am to be carrying another healthy baby, I would be lying if I said all of pregnancy was easy, fun, glamorous, and full of big puffy hearts. So, I am here to share some things that people neglect to tell you about pregnancy (but will totally tell you after you’ve experienced it).
Survival Mode is the Name of the Game
Specifically in the first trimester. All of my pregnancies have brought on the
morning all day sickness with a vengeance from weeks 6-13ish. Opening the fridge to grab your toddler their sippy cup is a labor of love #allthesmells. Even if this is your first pregnancy and you can tell your significant other to fend for himself where opening the refrigerator is concerned, smells that have never bothered you (heck, smells that you once enjoyed) will permeate your nasal passages and trigger dry heaving in a split second. I’m talking about you brewed coffee. You will also be more tired than you’ve ever been in your entire existence! Those first months are just a season to eat what you can when you can, sleep as much as your schedule allows, and let others do the heavy lifting and the gag inducing things for you. Which brings me to my next point.
It’s Okay to Ask for Help
I am the worst at admitting when I need help, trust me. If a friend or family member offers to bring you dinner or watch your toddler so that you can nap, let them. If someone sees you trying to heave that case of water into your cart at Target and offers to help, let them. You’re pregnant and even though there are days that you might say “damn, I feel like Superwoman”, you are not and you need to take it easy and give yourself some grace and rest! And if your husband says “go get a massage, I will watch the kids” you had better go!
There Are Times To Use It As An Excuse (Not ALL of The Time)
You want the occasional brownie or want control of the remote every now and then? I see nothing wrong with playing the pregnancy card. HOWEVER, it’s not okay to use it as an excuse for every single thing. There will be times that you snap at your loving husband just because he asked you if you’ve seen his phone charger (helloooo, hormones), but using it as an excuse to be a raging b**** all of the time is not okay. Craving that bowl of ice cream or Lucky Charms? Enjoy it, girlfriend, but in moderation (yes, that still applies during pregnancy because you are NOT eating for two). You still need to eat healthy foods!
You May Not Always Feel Like A Goddess
Nope. There’s nausea, breakouts, gas, things stretching and expanding, exhaustion, indigestion and other digestive issues, cravings, etc etc. Even though your Instagram feed may feature some beautiful pregnant woman dressed to the nines, in front of some flower wall in XYZ city, remember that the rules of social media still apply. As soon as that picture was taken, she probably changed into sweatpants and took a nap; Instagram only shows what is in that tiny square! Yes, there are many days where you will feel so comfortable in your skin, you’ll feel radiant and strong, but don’t be discouraged on the days that you’re waddling around, daydreaming about a donut. Being pregnant is tough and stretchy pants are your best friend!
They’re Not Our Mother’s Maternity Clothes
Maternity clothes are still getting a bad rap for some crazy reason. Let me tell you, maternity clothes are my jam! They’re so much cuter than the denim mumus and stirrup pants that our moms were forced to wear when they were pregnant. There are all sorts of tips and tricks to stretch your non-maternity wardrobe, but after the first trimester, those tricks aren’t so comfy. Forget the hair tie around your pants button and embrace the maternity leggings. You’ll be a happier (and more comfortable) woman for it! So, put those pre-pregnancy skinny jeans aside and reunite with them down the road…there are lots of cute maternity skinny jeans and they have stretchy waistbands.
You’ll Figure It Out. I Promise.
When I was getting close to my due date with Copeland, I started freaking out because I had ZERO maternal instinct. I never babysat growing up, I had never changed a poopie diaper, and I LOVED my sleep and was pretty selfish about it (still can be if I am being honest). I had no clue how to be a mom and I just knew I was going to break it (it being the baby). Well, three and a half years down the road and he’s fully intact and snoring right next to me. So, if this is your first rodeo, you’ll learn. People will come out of the dadgum wood work to tell you how to parent your child, but you will figure out how to do it in the way that works best for you. Love that baby, trust Jesus, and the rest will get figured out day by day!
Hey mom and dad! Sorry, but y’all have grandkids for this reason!
Giving it to you straight, the only way to survive this during pregnancy is to COMMUNICATE with your man. Seriously. Some days the stars align and everything is fireworks (singing Drake now), but other days you don’t want to be touched or even looked at by the man who started this whole thing for reasons ranging from body parts hurting, to you not loving your ever changing body, to you feeling like you may puke all over him if even a fingertip touches you. Just be honest with him, but also don’t play the pregnancy card (see above) every night. And, for what it’s worth, he still thinks you’re beautiful, even if you feel like the conductor on the hot mess express.
You’ll Miss It
The bump, that is. Yes, even after all of the first trimester woes and the end of third trimester pleas to your doctor to “get this baby out of me NOW!”. You’ll find yourself, months down the road, missing the kicks and rolls, rubbing your bump, and the feeling that you’re never alone even in an empty room. So, even on the hard days, enjoy that bump and show it off in those cute maternity clothes that you finally gave in to! I’m currently reading this part over and over, and reminding myself that this is the last time I will experience these moments (yes, it is the last time…three is my max!).
No two pregnancies are the same. Take it all in stride and know that there’s an adorable, cuddly, pooping 😉 prize at the end of this for you.