May 17, 2017

We both have people in our lives who wonder how we have it all together or they will call us super moms. We are here to tell you that we neither have it all together or consider ourselves super moms. With young kids, we are in the years of survival mode and are treading water many days. So, we wanted to be super real with y’all today and bring y’all some momfessions; confessions of two hot mess mamas.

Courtney’s Momfessions

Copeland doesn’t like food if it’s in the least bit spicy. It could have the slightest dusting of black pepper and he would say it’s “too ‘picy” (I know, he’s a Cajun baby…he needs to learn to like things super seasoned!). So, sometimes I say something is spicy so that I don’t have to share; mac-n-cheese, muffins, bacon, Chick-fil-a…all spicy. 😉

Sometimes I leave the boys with Justin and just go sit on the floor of the bathroom and read blogs or scroll through Instagram. I don’t know if I should be concerned that Justin never comes to check on me, but I assume he thinks I need more fiber in my diet. I’m okay with that.

We have a drop cloth under Atlee’s highchair to catch all of the food he drops. Sometimes, I put him on the drop cloth after he eats to finish eating the things that didn’t make it into his mouth.

Mighty Machines has been my babysitter when I haven’t felt well on more than one occasion. I’m okay with my kids thinking that giant pieces of machinery talk if it means I can lie down on the couch while they watch. At least it’s somewhat educational, right?

There are days that I consider veggie straws to be the vegetable portion of the boys’ lunch. WHY do kids like those things so much?!

I hate legos. They are tiny, bumpy, plastic razor blades that always end up in the most obscure places around the house, and I curse them every time I cross their path (step on them) then proceed to throw them in the garbage. “Nope, I have no idea where all of the legos keep going…weird.”

I pretended to throw the iPad away one day when Copeland was being disobedient (it’s nestled safely on our bookcase). I still haven’t given it back because I know it’s due for an update and it will probably combust or take 10 years to finish the update because it’s so old. He throws me under the bus all the time and tells people that I threw his “hi-pad” in the garbage. Touché.

Sometimes I promise a treat for no meltdowns while we are grocery shopping or in Target and then don’t follow through because I realize they have forgotten about the treat.

I think I am the only mom who doesn’t like Starbucks. Their espresso always tastes burnt. I know, revoke my mom (and blogger) card. I will see myself out.

Sometimes if I know Atlee has a dirty diaper I will say “where is dada?” and he will take off in search of Justin. Hey, dads need the gross jobs sometimes too.

I always try to avoid eating inside a Chick-fil-a just to dodge the meltdown that is bound to happen when I say “no” to the playground. My child does not leave the play area willingly and I don’t want to be that parent climbing up in that contraption to drag my kid out. Nope.

Whining is my biggest mom pet peeve. It’s like nails on a chalkboard.

If you give my kids a toy that is noisy and obnoxious, know that I am keeping tabs and I will return the favor one day.

Hannah’s Momfessions

At least once a week I forget to brush the kids’ teeth before we leave for school. Sorry teachers.

I chose not to breastfeed Porter because even just thinking about it gave me anxiety. I might have had to be put in an institution if I hadn’t chosen formula. I was in a better headspace with Gibson, and we are on month 4 of breastfeeding. Do what works!

Evan stayed in a crib until he was over 3 years old. I love the idea of a bed kids can’t escape.

Our TV is on WAY more than the recommended hours per day. Like WAY more. Like sometimes my kids can quote an episode of their favorite show line for line. I try to choose shows that have some sort of educational value, so it’s probably totally fine.

Sometimes I vacuum the floors just so I can’t hear the boys whining for a few minutes. It’s the perfect volume to drown them out.

I look forward to the day when I can do things to annoy my kids that they currently do to me. Like cry outside the bathroom door. Or wake them up right when they fall asleep on the couch to tell them my sock fell off. Or say their name at the start every sentence and not stop talking for 5 minutes. So much satisfaction.

When one of the kids is pooping I’ll find something to be busy with so that when we get the inevitable “I’m reeeeady!” summon from the bathroom, Jonathan will be the one who gets the honor of wiping.

Some nights when Jonathan and I are just ready for the boys to be in bed, we convince them it would be fun to just sleep in the clothes they already have on instead of changing into pajamas. I hope this trick lasts a long time.

I have been telling the boys they can earn allowance when they help with certain chores around the house. They’ll do them, but forget about the allowance part (probably because they’re 3 and 5 and have no concept of money yet). They don’t ask so I haven’t reminded them.

I’ve gotten really good at hiding all of the coloring sheets and “treasures” the boys come home with. And by “hide” I mean throw away. On more than one occasion I’ve helped them look for something I know for a fact is sitting in the dump somewhere.

Friends, we are taking the whole mom thing day by day and just trusting that God is in control and our kids will turn out ok! And that we won’t give them too many things to talk to their therapists about one day.

So what are some of your momfessions? Let us know in the comments!

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  • Libby Huber

    Thank you for sharing you “mom-fessions” with us! Loving the candor, humor, and relatability. Cheers to taking all things one day at at a time!

    May 17, 2017 at 10:10 AM Reply
    • Courtney & Hannah

      Thanks, Libby! We are all about being real and letting moms know they’re not the only ones in the trenches!

      May 17, 2017 at 11:24 AM Reply

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