Momfessions

May 17, 2017

We both have people in our lives who wonder how we have it all together or they will call us super moms. We are here to tell you that we neither have it all together or consider ourselves super moms. With young kids, we are in the years of survival mode and are treading water many days. So, we wanted to be super real with y’all today and bring y’all some momfessions; confessions of two hot mess mamas.

Courtney’s Momfessions

Copeland doesn’t like food if it’s in the least bit spicy. It could have the slightest dusting of black pepper and he would say it’s “too ‘picy” (I know, he’s a Cajun baby…he needs to learn to like things super seasoned!). So, sometimes I say something is spicy so that I don’t have to share; mac and cheese, a cookie, chocolate almond milk, Chick-fil-a…all spicy. 😉

If I’ve had a hard day with the kids, I leave the boys with Justin and just go sit on the floor of the bathroom and read blogs or scroll through Instagram for a little while. I don’t know if I should be concerned that Justin never comes to check on me, but I assume he thinks I need more fiber in my diet. I’m okay with that.

We have a drop cloth under Atlee’s highchair to catch all of the food he drops. Sometimes, I put him on the drop cloth after he eats to finish eating the things that didn’t make it into his mouth (don’t worry, it is cleaned multiple times a day), and it saves me a round of sweeping. We should really invest in a robot vacuum or get a dog.

When I was pregnant with Emery (and even today when I need to nurse her without the boys demanding all the snacks), Netflix was my babysitter when my morning sickness was raging or I was too tired to function. Mighty Machines and Little Einstein’s are both somewhat educational and the boys are okay. I have a feeling summer break will consist of a good amount of screen time. It’s fine.

I hate stickers. And bubbles. And legos. I don’t really feel like this needs an explanation. If you’re a mom, I am sure you hate at least one of those things too.

Earlier last year, I pretended to throw a couple of Copeland’s favorite toys away because he was being mean to his little brother and not sharing. I hid them in one of our cabinets that houses Christmas decorations and walked away with every intention of getting them out later that week. Well, I rediscovered them months later when I was getting decorations down. Bright side: they were like new toys!

Sometimes I don’t feel like fighting the boys to eat more fruits and veggies, so there have been days that they’ve eaten Annie’s mac and cheese multiple times in a day. They’re fine. Everything is fine.

Sometimes I promise a treat for no meltdowns while we are grocery shopping or in Target and then don’t follow through because I realize they have forgotten about the treat.

This confession should have my mom (and blogger) card revoked, but I have to confess it. Starbucks isn’t my favorite *gasp*. Their espresso always tastes burnt, but they’re convenient so I deal with the mediocre lattés (first world problem).

Sometimes if I know Atlee has a dirty diaper and I don’t feel like changing it, I will say “where is dada?” and he will take off in search of Justin. Thanks, babe!

I always try to avoid eating inside a Chick-fil-a just to dodge the meltdown that is bound to happen when I say “no” to the playground. My boys do not leave the play area willingly and I don’t want to be that parent climbing up in that contraption to drag my kids out. Nope.

Whining is my biggest mom pet peeve. It’s like nails on a chalkboard. For the love of all things, make it stop!!

If you give my kids a toy that is noisy and obnoxious, know that I am keeping tabs and I will return the favor one day. Love you, mean it! 😉

Hannah’s Momfessions

At least once a week I forget to brush the kids’ teeth before we leave for school. Sorry teachers.

My kids are hungry approximately one million times a day. I figure if I either ignore them or say “ok, in a few minutes” at least half of the time they ask for a snack I figure I’m surely saving a few dollars a week on our grocery bill.

I chose not to breastfeed Porter because even just thinking about it gave me anxiety. I might have had to be put in an institution if I hadn’t chosen formula. I was in a better headspace with Gibson, and we made it a year! Do what works, mama.

Evan stayed in a crib until he was over 3 years old, and I would have loved to keep him in there longer. I miss the days of a bed a kid can’t escape.

Our TV is on WAY more than the recommended hours per day. Like WAY more. Like sometimes my kids can quote an episode of their favorite show line for line. I try to choose shows that have some sort of educational value, but my kids also love Captain Underpants. It’s probably totally fine.

Sometimes I vacuum the floors just so I can’t hear the boys whining for a few minutes. It’s the perfect volume to drown them out.

I look forward to the day when I can do things to annoy my kids that they currently do to me. Like cry outside the bathroom door. Or wake them up right when they fall asleep on the couch to tell them my sock fell off. Or say their name at the start every question and sentence and then not stop talking for 5 minutes straight. So much satisfaction.

When Porter is pooping I’ll find something to be busy with so that when we get the inevitable “I’m reeeeady!” summon from the bathroom, Jonathan will be the one who gets the honor of wiping.

Some nights when Jonathan and I are just ready for the boys to be in bed, we convince them it would be fun to just sleep in the clothes they already have on instead of changing into pajamas. I hope this trick lasts a long time.

I’ve gotten really good at hiding all of the coloring sheets and “treasures” the boys come home with. And by “hide” I mean throw away. On more than one occasion I’ve helped them look for something I know for a fact is sitting in the dump somewhere.

I am possibly the least sympathetic mom when it comes to whining. Zero tolerance policy here. Want to ensure I won’t give you what you’re asking me for? Whine about it.

If the baby is having trouble going to or staying asleep, I’ll assume it’s due to some sort of discomfort that only tylenol can cure.


Friends, we are taking the whole mom thing day by day and just trusting that God is in control and our kids will turn out ok! And that we won’t give them too many things to talk to their therapists about one day.

So what are some of your momfessions? Let us know in the comments. Instagram is our favorite, so come along for the ride @coldcoffeehotmess. We are also on Facebook!

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2 Comments

  • Libby Huber

    Thank you for sharing you “mom-fessions” with us! Loving the candor, humor, and relatability. Cheers to taking all things one day at at a time!

    May 17, 2017 at 10:10 AM Reply
    • Courtney & Hannah

      Thanks, Libby! We are all about being real and letting moms know they’re not the only ones in the trenches!

      May 17, 2017 at 11:24 AM Reply

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